Global Warming and the effects on Cinema

We have to address a serious issue today. The problem of Global Warming. Global Warming not only affects the climate of the planet; thus changing the entire environment including flora and fauna but it will also affect us humans in ways that one cannot imagine.

One of the most obvious effect of Global Warming would be on the film industry. How will they survive global warming?

Lets face facts, The Titanic sank because there was  no Global Warming. Why? Since there was little  no pollution - there was no global warming, since there was no global warming the icebergs were larger, since the icebergs were larger they could have taken down the Titanic. Therefore due to lack of pollution, The Titanic sank to the bottom of the ocean floor. So I urge everyone to stop polluting less otherwise we will not have big ships that crash into icebergs only to be  found years later by a robotic submarine.If that robotic submarine would not have found the titanic we would not have had a movie based on the sinking of the ship about two desperate young lovers on board which would end up winning 11 academy awards. So please,for the sake of Leonardo Di Caprio, and all the other actors stop driving your car and use roller blades. All you will burn is fat!

If you now notice, all mainstream peole are preaching about the Environment, Leonardo Di Caprio preaching about the Environment, in hopes to prolong his acting career. Al Gore, on the other hand hoping to start his acting career after his political career didn't materialise into gaining Presidency. Leonardo Di Caprio's Documentary may seem it was out of the goodness of his heart, but the truth is that he wants to make another movie like the Titanic, only this time he may play the father of the girl in the movie. (Leonardo Di Caprio is a great actor and person, and the earlier line was just to enhance a joke)

Bollywood, apart from Hollywood, will also be affected. The dance sequences where they somehow immediately transport themselves to Switzerland to snow covered mountains will have to be replaced by dance sequences with waterfalls in the background in the mountains of Switzerland.To simulate snow they will have to use cotton, which will also be scarce because the crops would have withered in the heat. Thus songs will now be shot in Egypt, as the deserts will always be there, much like the song in Singh is King. The smog will hamper shots of films and thus there can be only close ups of the actors. Anil Kapoor's nose hair will look like a birds nest (I'm sure that they will trim it . . . someday). Actors who cannot act will be stuck in acting classes because now their bodies would not be shown in the film and would require to acquire some acting skills.

When you think about it, Kevin Costner is the next Nostradamus. He actually believed that he saw the future so much that he resorted to creating a movie which ruined his marriage. The power of self belief, he was willing to give up his married life when he believed he could see the future. I think he saw himself with a really good looking girl in the future and thus resorted to leave his wife. Waterworld, a mixture of Madmax meets Titanic, which with Global Warming will become a reality.

So the moral of this blog is don't pollute the world otherwise you would have to live in Kevin Costners Water World with ships as big as the Titanic floating around. I hope you can swim.

(All Comments are meant to be jokes and should not be taken seriously)