I.P.L. - Indian Pecunious League

Recently every person in India had their eyes glued to a television set. Not because their Indian Cricketing Icons were playing a match, but because they were being sold. And that too for amounts of money that no ordinary citizen of India could even dream of.

The bidding was over a span of two day, with a lot of Indian players going for obscene amounts of money. It reminds me of the time Cristiano Ronaldo was sold to Real Madrid. In fact, now cricket even has a Champions League. Don't you think we are trying to copy football a little too much? Pay the players obscene amounts of money and just because they cant generate enough income out of tickets from their own league, they start a so called 'Champions League'.

Some of the people will earn a lakh (1,00,000) or more for every ball they play. That is an absurd amount of money. And it reminds me of the day when Lalit Modi, the ousted CEO of the IPL once said that MS Dhoni makes more money than Cristiano Ronaldo. When I first heard that statement , I was surprised I only fell off my chair laughing and not the Earth, but with the amount that the cricketers have been bought for in this auction, I think I may need a jet propelled backpack to bring me back to Earth.

When we see the Indian Cricketers taking off their shirts and swinging it madly over their head and screaming Chak De! on TV, it is actually the players celebrating because today is their Cheque Day. (You would normally lip read the Chak De!). Gambhir will be richer than Tiger Woods, Wayne Rooney will start wearing Rohit Sharma's cast offs, Andrew Symonds along with Matthew Hayden will buy their own island so that they can go 'fishing' together, Dhoni will start his own construction agency called Chakke pe Chakka Constructions (CCC - please do not confuse this with Coffee Club of Chennai which Dhoni is also a member of) which will exclusively build 12 floored buildings, Sanath Jayasuriya will run for a post of a minister, wait a minute he already did that, I think he read my previous blog.Signboard will be held saying 'Cheque Day ...preferably in Demand Draft' instead of Chak De!

On the other hand the Pakistani Cricketers will be wondering when is their 'Cheque Day'.

However, there were ways for some cricketers to make more money than they did. For instance Robin Uthappa should have changed his name to 'Onion Uthappam'. With the price of Onions these days, he surely would have been paid the highest instead of Mr. Serious - Gautam Gambhir.

I have been thinking what these cricketers will do with all this extra money.... Here are a few ideas I came up with:

1. Robin Uthappa - Start a chain of South Indian restaurants over the world , with a speciality of Uthappams.
2. Harbhajan Singh - Start an Anger Management Course, along with an Arbitration law firm, he will be needing it now that he is teammates with Andrew Symonds.
3. S Sreesanth - Start Acting Classes for Over-exaggeration and crying on national TV
4. Yusuf Pathan - Start a Demolition Company, whose tagline should be - What I do to opponents will happen to your building 
5. Ishant Sharma - Start a diet centre, so that all girls can become as thin as him.

These are just a few ideas that cropped up into my mind. If you have any suggestions please let me know and I shall pass it along to the respective cricketers. If the Cricketers don't know what to do with their money they can always give their money to my charity called "Give Taha a Porsche Fund" - which will promptly be changed to "Give Taha All Your Money Fund" - All proceeds are not tax deductible and will be spent on making Taha's (ipso facto 'me') life more comfortable in every way possible.


(All Comments are meant to be jokes and should not be taken seriously)