Hometown Heroes

The Mis-adventures of Bunty-Man - Comic by Taha Varawala

I have been born and brought up in Mumbai {nee Bombay (nee Mumbai)} and I am proud to call it my Hometown. Sure it may  be full of potholes, susceptible to terrorist attacks, overpopulated, filled with traffic jams,corruption due to the industrialist and political nexus, but it is still my hometown; and one of which I am proud of.

I believe that Mumbai shall be the training ground for the new generation of Superheroes to the world. Imagine, names like Bunty-Man, Girgaum Gal, Bandra Boy and Lady Lalbaug  saving the day. They shall be household names. I know there are no such things as superheroes but I believe the city of Mumbai is an apt training ground for training superheroes. I shall now demonstrate below how each superpower can be imbibed into Mumbaikars bodies.

Super Speed :- It is a hidden secret that most Mumbaikars are faster than Usain Bolt with a fircracker up his nether regions. However, it is never shown unless the time is 5:42 p.m. or 6:12 p.m. This is the time when the person in question runs to reach his local train. Even if a Somalian athlete was running because there was a buffet table at the finish line, the Mumbaikar shall still be faster and look more harrowed than him.

Super Strength: - All Mumbaikars have a latent ability of super strength, they just haven't tapped into their potential yet. However, one can see this strength come out when people push each other inside the train so that they can get into the train and balance on one toe for the rest of the 2 hour journey back home. This is what I like to call L.S.S. ( Latent Super Strength).Which also leads me to my next superpower.

Super Agility :- A Mumbaikar can jump over dog shit on the road, hurdle a divider, leap out of the way of speeding cars, maneuver  through a crowd of people, jump over a sleeping man (Only the Indian Superhero Rajnikanth can jump over a two floored building; but it doesn't mean we Mumbaikars don't try.),balance on one toe for 2 hours (see point above), dodge a public transport vehicle, come close to falling of a train and consider a trip back home as uneventful.

Super Sight :- This ability gets activated when a person comes out of a train station to search for empty cabs and auto rickshaws. One can spot an empty rickshaw at least half a kilometer away and use their super speed to reach them before anyone else.

Super Hearing :- If one does not have super hearing one would never be able to decipher the message the announcer is trying to convey at railway station, you must have super hearing.

Super Awareness (Spidey - Sense) :- Each Mumbaikar has superb awareness which is the only superpower that is always active. However, this is some time prone to malfunction. Super Awareness is created in the Mumbaikar body due to the fact that his brain has to take notice of the people sleeping on the gorund, the dog shit on the ground as well speeding cars on the road, all in an effort to cross the road. No wonder the Chicken never reached the other side in Mumbai. It takes heightened brain activity at the level of Einstein to manage to be aware of all the surroundings.

I suggest that we start a superhero group called the Manoos Und Mahila Battling against Iniquitous (M.U.M.B.A.I) {und is and in German also Iniquitous means unjust/immoral}to battle the evils of the world and occasionally joined by the anti-hero group called Dastardly.Enigmatic.Law-breaking.Heinous.International (D.E.L.H.I.)

The sidekick training will happen on Mumbai Local trains and once proficient enough to join M.U.M.B.A.I. they shall be upgraded by being able to roam the entire city to hone in on their skills. I shall be the commander of this superhero group, since I thought of it and hopefully it will lead to less cats being stuck in trees.

(All comments are meant to be jokes and should not be taken seriously. Especially the one about Somalians. People need to help the people of that country. )